Alien mutant zombies have invaded the BYU-I campus!! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIVES!!!! Oh,wait, wait no. My bad, it's finals week. Alien Mutant Zombie, student, pretty much interchangeable this time of the semester.
I will return you to your regular broadcasting program as soon as our producer's brain has solidified. Core melt downs are normal set backs and are to be expected about two or three times out of the year, so please bear with me.
Had this been an actual emergency you would have kept on reading and in doing so would have been incinerated by alien psychic powers, transformed into some bizarre creature with a drooling complex because a mutant gene is skipping gaily through your DNA strand and decided to redecorate, or you'd come to discover that you are in possession of a flip top skull and your gray matter is currently the entree for a zombie banquet. But who am I to limit fate? Let's throw in the obligatory all-of-the-above-but-not-necessarily-in-that-order, option.
If you've read this and your neighbor's cranium is looking tasty, you are either A.) A devout follower of cannibalism, B.) Extremely disturbed, C.) *GASP* You're a victim of the non-existent Alien Mutant Zombies!
If you've read this and you don't have any odd symptoms...well, good for you! What? Were you expecting a cookie for being normal?
*wipes away excessive drool and lumbers off to find more brains*
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2 comments:
Alien monster zombies are very common and around all the time, but like Werewolves they only show at certain times.
Some are resistant to the gene though, kinda like in "I am Legend." Then all of us are eaten alive because we are so lively and make all the other ones look bad. The teachers have to offer sacrifices to the hoards of students that can no longer think. And the only ones left to sacrifice are the lively ones. It is every man for himself.
Don't tell anyone that I am resistant and lively...pllleeeeasseee, ppppllllllleeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeee!
*dances gaily*
My new mutant DNA will put Yuri to shame!
So what if I'm hungry for brains? Thats....like...normal for me.
You're talking to the guy who read "World War Z" and the "Zombie Survival Guide"!!
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