Tug O' War

Never have I felt so susceptible to the powers that be. In my religion, we believe that we existed before we came to this earth as Heavenly Father's spirit children. There we chose our Savior, Christ. And Lucifer, as well as with a third of the hosts of heaven, were cast out.

While not given the details, I know it was a war in heaven. It's now the same war here on earth, good vs. evil. Its amazing to think that we are all in the middle of our own epic story. Are we good? Are we evil? Or are we some miserable creature caught somewhere in between trying to serve two masters?

I feel the tug o' war within myself and without. I feel the powers of my Creator trying to guide, encourage, empower and direct me to do that which is right. I also feel the temptations set for entrapment by the Enemy. Am I being overly sensitive? (Perhaps overly dramatic to some)

I'm inclined that for whatever reason, I have just gained a testimony of this long tiresome heavenly war that has transcended to a mortal plane. Its not over, in fact it's raging violently right outside my window and within my tiny apartment. It's real and I have to decide if I'm going to be casualty of this war or a soldier.

Perhaps this is an odd take, but indulge my rather overactive brain and equally active imagination. Those of you who read this or any story with a hero or heroine, immediately wish for the triumph of our main character. Blows and hard times for them are blows and hard times for you. Their goals and victories are also yours.

But this adventure, this fight, has changed. It's no longer hand to hand combat, rather its an all out battle of morals, self-discipline, obedience and faith. We're fighting two enemies, ourselves and Lucifer. Christ admonished us to clean the inner vessel first, and then turn outwards.

In this story, you must trade in guns and tanks for the armor of God and be willing to march for the full emotional and spiritual haul. You must be willing to lift your brethren when they fall and allow yourself to be lifted by Him when you stumble. It is tiring, taxing, and dare I say sometimes confusing and frightening. The only promise in this story, our story, is that Christ will never leave us and good will triumph. We know the end before we even get there. The only question remaining, is on whose side will we stand at the last great battle? Will we be ready or will we have been fooled?


I have had so much on my mind lately and to process it all is overwhelming. I know my weaknesses, I wish I could see my strengths especially in the moments or days when I feel like light has gone out. You can't deny what is right without the consequence of offending the Spirit and becoming numb. You can't embrace what is right without the consequence of having the Spirit of the Lord with you as your companion. To be stuck somewhere in the middle with your decisions is agony.


On days like today, I simply wish to curl up in my room and shut the world away to be alone with my thoughts. But I think I've rubbed them raw and left them blistering; perhaps some fresh air would do me some good...